UX Designer | Photographer

Thoughts, ideas and current projects :)

My thoughts and the projects I am currently working on :)

Okay! or The "Don't Believe Me Just Watch!" Approach

I love saying this word out loud and this phrase silently in my head. It usually comes out when someone challenges me and instead of making any claims or declarations, I just say, "Okay!". 

Well, that's not the whole truth. I used to make declarations and claims. I used to whine and complain about stuff and still do sometimes. But the truth is...

Nobody gives a fuck!
— Gary Vaynerchuk


xxx: Dude! You need to lose some weight, man! 
Me: Yeah, bro. I have a few things to take care of and I am going to start.
xxx: What are the things you're taking care of.
Me: Well, I need proper rest in order to recover correctly. So I am going to start by applying for my Sleep Apnea treatment to get approved by my insurance. Then, I am going to spend some time learning the basics of nutrition and training so I don't hurt myself...
xxx: Bullshit, excuses! Let's hit the gym now! Just keep working out hard. It is as simple as that!
Me: No, bro. I really don't think that it is. It's not that simple and that approach hasn't worked for me in the past. I am looking for a long term solution.
xxx: It is and you're making excuses!
Me: Okay! 

I don't mean to shit all over the people and I'd like to give them the benefit of the doubt because they haven't seen the evidence of what you mean but still, at that point, it hurts more than it helps. 

So why bother going through the conversation? Why bother trying to explain yourself and what your words mean? Why bother posting it on Facebook? They mean very little without any action, anyway. So I have decided to commit to taking that action and even then, I have learned it the hard way that...

Reassurance is futile.
— Seth Godin

Public accoutability is awesome but I believe one should do things for improving themselves with love and full responsibility for oneself. The accountability should come from within us.

xxx: Have this cheesecake, it's awesome!
Me: I'm sorry, I had some earlier and I am out of my calories at the momet, but thanks for offering it to me. 
xxx: No, it's okay! I won't tell anyone.
Me: Yes, but I can't lie to myself.

The best thing I like about this method is that it gives you results. It forces you to say, "Okay! - challenge accepted. I am going to give it my best and not complain. I am going to take action and see if I get any results." 

Most times, I hope I am wrong because I get to learn 10x and I am a learning junkie (more on this in a different blog post).

This approach has helped me lose 103 lbs. It wasn't a straight path but rather a messy desperate attempt at figuring something out which I never thought I will (another blog post lol). For now, I want to say that I have learned many things with that journey and had to let a few people go as a necessary evil.

Stay away from they.
— DJ Khaled


The Approach:

1. Get really clear on what you want to achieve.

2. Observe the naysayers.

3. Say, "Okay!"

4. Stay silent and put in the work, one step after another.

5. Analyze the results.

6. Iterate based on the results and repeat.

The time goes by and the reps go in and then the day comes when they notice the change. The same people who said you cannot do it will come to you asking for advice and learn how you did it. 

Chatter is your mother and father’s well-intentioned expressions of caution, seeking to shield you from hurting yourself. Chatter is your teachers’ equally well-meaning attempts at socialization, training you to follow the rules. Chatter is your friends’ regular-joe buddy-talk, trying to make you like them and to follow the rules of the pack. Chatter is Resistance.
— Steve Pressfield

PS I have failed at this approach many times as well and as humbling as it was, it helped me learn even more and since I had taken some sort of an action, it not only helped me learn more but deepen my relationship with my mentors :)

Don't believe me just watch...ta-na-na-na...Don't believe me just watch...ta-na-na-na-na - Don't believe me just watch...ta-na-na-na-na...Hey, hey, hey, oh! - Mark Ronson - Uptown Funk ft. Bruno Mars 


Darvinder Kochhar